Bus Ticket Bought
So last weekend I bought a bus ticket. In two weeks from today I will be at M’s surprise 40th birthday party.
For a million little reasons this is a big deal.
Being invited to something that is for M rather than an event for J – it makes me feel like family, not just J’s family but a part of the bigger family.
Having the opportunity to spend time with M’s extended family – many who I’ve never even met – this is a chance for them to get to know me and in doing so understand a little more about why this open adoption is such a priority for all of us. In the end that will be better for J because it won’t be on him to defend why I’m in his life, at least not to that part of his family.
It will be the first time I will be in the same place as J for an overnight visit. There will be actually two nights that I will be staying in the same place as him. This will be the most time I spend with J since the hospital.
I will almost definitely be spending a night with J’s Aunt and J, M&P have a previous engagement to go to, time with J without M&P (even if his Aunt is there) is something new as well.
In many ways since so much of the family doesn’t know me, this will be more like some of the first visits with all the family around (his baptism or the first tree trimming) when there were a lot of awkward conversations and people who had no idea if they should even acknowledge they knew who I was.
I’m excited and nervous. I’m just glad that this is the place we’re in right now. And now I have two weeks left to freak out.